- She is in the 24th percentile for height (shorty,) 84th percentile for weight (chubby,) and 62nd percentile in head circumference. She has grown well, and the doctor isn't at all concerned with the difference in height and weight percentiles.
- She had her second round of DTaP/HiB and Rotovirus vaccines, and she took them well. Sadly for me, they do not make her sleepy as promised. :(
- She sleeps about twleve hours per night without waking, but she prefers to take brief power naps during the day. I hope to push this into two two-hour naps, but we'll have to wait a couple of months until I can be more firm with boundaries. (The Dr. says no to the cry-it-out method until six months.)
- She is mostly withholding with smiles although liberal when it comes to her brother whom she adores.
- She enjoys bursts of energy wherein she kicks and punches emphatically and for your attention.
- Everywhere we go people comment, "She is so ALERT!" Yes, she is a supervisor. She has a strong sense of what is going on around her, and she is constantly evaluating it.
- She definitely has a strong, assertive personality. I frequently see myself in her, and she definitely has my eyes.
First of all, my words are true. It is neither good nor bad, and I am not in judgment of her for this behavior. Some babies just ARE this way. Second, as she becomes a mother and searches for answers I hope I can illuminate some. She must know that it's not always easy, that babies aren't all the same, and that even the difficult moments are fleeting. I hope that she will read my words to show her that there is no resentment regarding who she is and how she expresses herself. She will need to understand this in her own parenting journey. Finally, in case she missed this little fact, I adore her. I endured horrific pain on many levels to conceive her, but I would quite honestly do it ten times over to bring HER into my life. She will challenge me like no one in my life ever could. She will make me a better mother and a better woman...even a better wife. My gift to her will be her life, my gratitude, and my presence. I am clear that this young one will blaze her own trails, and my power will be limited to the sidelines. So, Baby Bekah, all I can tell you is ROCK ON, and may our snuggles continue for many many years to come.
Though your words might be true, I am certain that one day Miss R will find them hurtful if not utterly devastating. Even more so when she compares what you have written about her to what you've written about her brother.
ReplyDeleteThough you claim that the truth is neither good nor bad, much of what you say is inherently negative: "incessant screaming", "chubby", and the "horrific pain" you had to "endure" to conceive her. You say that these moments of difficulty are fleeting but as a reader of this blog, the negativity with which you consistently speak about your daughter vs. the positivity with which you speak about your son is overwhelming and exhibits resentment in and of itself. And the blog itself is an enduring memory. A few sweet words at the end of a post will not undo the hurt she will inevitably feel when she reads these posts--pain that she will already feel due to the way she will have been raised. She will perceive the favoritism that you so clearly exhibit in your blog posts, whether or not you are aware of it.
I have similar experiences to your daughter and the pain from these is lasting. There would be even more pain if I had a document I could read to confirm my perception of my experiences. Though you take it as a given, there is no guarantee that she will want to become a mother.
Likely you will ignore these comments, just as you reject your mom's advice, so I only hope that R will have supportive and unconditionally loving figures in her life to counteract the hurtful ones. Just because something is true does not mean it needs to be said, especially about one's child. Think for a moment if you heard all the true things that people think about you, and how those might make you feel.
Finally, remember that no child asks to be born and your choice to have a child comes with an ethical obligation to treat each child with fairness, kindness, support, and unconditional love and respect for his/her individuality.